When a father is created

What’s this, you ask?

Earlier this month, Dane and I celebrated our four year anniversary. Dane’s parents had invited us over for lunch that weekend, where I noticed a bottle of whiskey set out on a tray. They had bought this bottle when Dane was born, and laid it away for a special occasion in the future. The arrival of baby together with the anniversary of our wedding was deemed special enough and we (excluding baby) enjoyed a nip after lunch.

Dane also took me for a cute brunch in Camden and then a walk through Macarthur Park. It was a chance to slow down and smell the roses!

Macarthur Park Memorial Rose Garden, Camden

Watching Dane become a father has been truly magical. Before our daughter arrived, Dane didn’t have much interest in babies. He much preferred toddlers or kids because they’re more interactive.

When our girl was born, it’s like Dane was instantly hit with the Dad bug and a new level of his personality was unlocked. We were hardly out of the delivery unit before he was holding her, telling me how cute her face is, being concerned about all baby’s vitals which get checked in hospital. He was a great advocate for baby when the nurses wanted to put her on different treatments and wouldn't tell us what was going on. I kept expecting Dane to become bored with our girl and lose interest, but it hasn't happened yet.

His suggestions for our daughter’s Chinese middle name were words like ‘persevere’ and ‘imaginative’. They turned out to be very masculine words in the Chinese language, so we went with a name that means ‘able and bright’; but they were all traits that he would like her to embody as she grows.

We were prepared for marriage to get harder with a baby in the mix. In some ways it has. Being at home all the time makes me more demanding of Dane’s attention, especially because I'm so social and Dane really needs his down time. I often feel like I need to rush around and get things done while baby is calm or asleep, as if counting down to when baby will crack it and need my full attention. Dane has a more relaxed approach to parenting. “I want you to be less frantic,” he said to me once.

Dane's relaxed parenting

I actually think we work well together as a team, and there are so many ways baby has strengthened our marriage rather than created problems. I’ve got to witness Dane be more caring to both of us than I’ve ever seen him before. He really enjoys giving baby her evening wash. He plays with her in the water, drawing out funny facial expressions and cooing noises.

I have loved watching Dane love our baby, and in the process my love for him has grown tremendously. Hopefully this pattern will continue as baby grows and possibly more kids are added into the mix. Four years down; and lots more to go!