'Tis the season!

What a merry month we've had! Dane is on school holidays, and for the first time I’m on leave too, so we’re making the most of this time together as a little family.

We planned to start our holidays with a getaway in beachy Avalon. On our way through the city, we’d call in at my office to see my boss who was up from Melbourne. She hadn't met baby yet. After a mad morning packing, we learned there was a severe weather warning for Sydney: tornado strength winds and heavy rain.

We cancelled our Avalon plans but pressed on to meet up with my colleagues. Traffic was crawling and baby screeched endlessly as if she was being murdered, as she always does when strapped in the baby seat. Some way into our harrowing drive, my colleagues called to say my boss wasn't going to meet us. The storm had grounded her plane in Melbourne.

Still we drove on! After all that, and 90 minutes on the road(!), we ended up just going out for sushi with the girls from work. I am taking every chance I get to enjoy sashimi since I couldn't have any while pregnant. It was a good catch up even if nothing exactly went to plan!

Baby being spoiled by my colleagues

Our next attempts at beachy getaways have been way more successful. We spent a night at North ’Gong, waking to a Diggies coffee and toastie on the beach. We took turns swimming laps in the ocean pool while the other watched baby. The sun on the water turned the surface into a million sparkling diamonds.

Sea pool at North Wollongong

I had never swum in an ocean pool before, and let me tell you it is an experience! There’s so much lateral turbulence from other swimmers and the salt water is so buoyant I felt as if I was swimming through jelly. I was completely exhausted after just a few laps.

Dane also left an elaborate treasure hunt for his cousin (who lives in the unit we crashed at) ending in her Christmas pudding, which he had taken and hid. He spent hours leaving clues, and I was starving by the time he’d finished and was ready for lunch.

We tried Pepe's on the Beach, underneath the Novotel. 45 minutes after ordering, our “share platter” arrived and was pretty miserable - a few meat skewers, soggy flatbread and a very limp salad. The food was poor and seriously overpriced, serving size skimpy, service slow. Zero out of ten and we won’t be going back.

A few days later, we journeyed to Vincentia to stay with Dane’s cousins, who were very smitten with our little girl. The weather wasn't quite right for swimming but we rambled about on long walks, read, played a boardgame, ate fish and chips.

Baby got played and played with. Dane’s aunt brought out all her primary school instruments and baby chewed on them.

One morning while baby napped, Dane and I escaped and had a fancy brunch at 5 Little Pigs, along the esplanade at Huskisson. They have really creative menu with heaps of international influences, although I just had a tasty zucchini fritters dish with halloumi and smoked trout.

L: Dane's cousin playing with baby. R: Fritters with smoked trout at 5 Little Pigs, Huskisson

We were home in time for a big Christmas Day and Boxing Day with our families. Baby got absolutely spoiled with gifts. We tried out our new Christmas games, Dane played a bit of backyard cricket, I cooked an enormous sticky date pudding that we’re still slogging through. I felt how special baby’s first Christmas was.

Merry Christmas!

So now we are hurtling towards the New Year. Church youth camp begins the day after tomorrow. It’s a bittersweet feeling, coming to the end of the year. I try not to feel sad about it by thinking of things to look forward to.

When a father is created

What’s this, you ask?

Earlier this month, Dane and I celebrated our four year anniversary. Dane’s parents had invited us over for lunch that weekend, where I noticed a bottle of whiskey set out on a tray. They had bought this bottle when Dane was born, and laid it away for a special occasion in the future. The arrival of baby together with the anniversary of our wedding was deemed special enough and we (excluding baby) enjoyed a nip after lunch.

Dane also took me for a cute brunch in Camden and then a walk through Macarthur Park. It was a chance to slow down and smell the roses!

Macarthur Park Memorial Rose Garden, Camden

Watching Dane become a father has been truly magical. Before our daughter arrived, Dane didn’t have much interest in babies. He much preferred toddlers or kids because they’re more interactive.

When our girl was born, it’s like Dane was instantly hit with the Dad bug and a new level of his personality was unlocked. We were hardly out of the delivery unit before he was holding her, telling me how cute her face is, being concerned about all baby’s vitals which get checked in hospital. He was a great advocate for baby when the nurses wanted to put her on different treatments and wouldn't tell us what was going on. I kept expecting Dane to become bored with our girl and lose interest, but it hasn't happened yet.

His suggestions for our daughter’s Chinese middle name were words like ‘persevere’ and ‘imaginative’. They turned out to be very masculine words in the Chinese language, so we went with a name that means ‘able and bright’; but they were all traits that he would like her to embody as she grows.

We were prepared for marriage to get harder with a baby in the mix. In some ways it has. Being at home all the time makes me more demanding of Dane’s attention, especially because I'm so social and Dane really needs his down time. I often feel like I need to rush around and get things done while baby is calm or asleep, as if counting down to when baby will crack it and need my full attention. Dane has a more relaxed approach to parenting. “I want you to be less frantic,” he said to me once.

Dane's relaxed parenting

I actually think we work well together as a team, and there are so many ways baby has strengthened our marriage rather than created problems. I’ve got to witness Dane be more caring to both of us than I’ve ever seen him before. He really enjoys giving baby her evening wash. He plays with her in the water, drawing out funny facial expressions and cooing noises.

I have loved watching Dane love our baby, and in the process my love for him has grown tremendously. Hopefully this pattern will continue as baby grows and possibly more kids are added into the mix. Four years down; and lots more to go!

South coast weekend!

I've just come back from a mega weekend! For the first time since our ‘schoolies’ trip 10 years ago (almost exactly 10 years ago!) I went away with a bunch of friends from highschool.

We stayed in a very remote, creaky house in Nowra found on Airbnb, which was scary and dark when we arrived. As we chatted on the lounges, a huge black mouse charged across the room! That freaked us right out. Once we’d calmed ourselves down enough to go to bed, I woke in the night to heavy thumping on the floorboards. At first I thought it was one of our group stomping around on the way to the bathroom… then realised the sound was actually in the roof. Dane slept soundly throughout.

The new day dawned, and the place looked much friendlier. We spent the early morning soaking up sun on the back deck, listening to Cat Stevens, enjoying the view of Nowra river.

Chillin' on the balcony

We headed into Berry for brunch at the Berry Sourdough Cafe. I absolutely loved it and will definitely return the next time we go through Berry. I tried their poached egg, roasted corn, and kale salad - the first time I’ve ever ordered kale - and polished off the whole plate. The coffee was bellissimo and I couldn’t get enough of their little cakes and tarts. I bought an extra tray of baked goodies to take with us so I could try everything.

We headed back to the creaky house to pretty up for Jason and Thalia's wedding. There were four girls, only two mirrors and only one bathroom so it was a bit hectic! Whoever takes that house next will be finding bobbypins EVERYWHERE.

Jason and Thalia got married at the truly spectacular Terrara House Estate. The grounds were absolutely magnificent - a croquet lawn, formal garden, kitchen garden, ornamental pool, and a very grand sandstone house. We peeked into one of the rooms of the house and saw a shiny grand piano, a leather chesterfield lounge and some exquisitely carved chess knights. During the night we drank and chatted underneath the great circular canopies of some fantastically large fig trees. It was such a romantic spot.

The next day, we headed back up the coast to Wollongong to meet up with our church on retreat. It was a really chilled program, with heaps of time for chats and cards. My discussion group leader grew up in Iraq and had lots of personal experience with one of the main themes of the weekend - persecution. It was really refreshing and encouraging hearing about the strength of his faith in the face of such violence and segregation.

I am having a compulsory quiet week this week (since my car is in the shop!) to make up for the excitement of the weekend.

What my newborn was like

My baby has recently turned 3 months old. As she leaves the newborn stage behind, it’s begun to really hit me how fast this is all going. Of course, “they grow up so fast” is a phrase as old as time, but now that I am a mum watching it all happen it has become so real to me.

In this post I want to go back a bit and remember what those first few weeks were like. I have begun to ask myself, in years to come, will I remember this? It startles me how quickly I have already forgotten some of it.

Two small things spring to mind as examples - when she was only a few weeks old, we had to change her nappy lightning fast because she would scream all the way through a nappy change. Ditto with getting out of the bath or shower. Now she doesn't complain at all for either. It’s like she just grew out of it.

We spent the first three days of her life together in hospital. Through the day, she slept beautifully in her hospital cot or inside Dane’s shirt, kangaroo style. At night, she didn't sleep at all. I felt like I had a choice between baby crying and me not sleeping, or holding baby so she wouldn't cry and me not sleeping. I remember the exhaustion felt a bit like the last day of leading on youth camp - deliriously tired, teary, emotional; but still happy; still worth it.

At first, baby had heaps of trouble feeding. I had to feed her using tiny medicine cups, syringes, and eventually bottles. When I tried breastfeeding she would cry for twenty minutes at a time trying to latch, and then I would cry from frustration and disappointment. If she ever managed to latch on and breastfeed, I would treasure every second, wondering if it would be the last time I got to experience breastfeeding.

We slowly got better at breastfeeding, first using a nipple shield, and then at about 3 weeks old she turned the corner and got the hang of it. Now breastfeeding is so easy and enjoyable. It’s one of my favourite parts about being a mum.

I used to take her to the sofa outside our bedroom for night feeds because she cried and fussed so much and I didn't want to keep Dane up. I had a little fan heater, breast pump and baby bottle, nipple shield, snacks and water bottle all ready to go near the sofa before I went to bed. I remember sitting on that sofa in the black of night holding baby because she wouldn't sleep and wouldn't stop crying unless I held her. I was just waiting it out until I could feed her again and try to feed her to sleep.

Baby not sleeping in the small hours of the morning

When Dane went back to work, I sent him to the guest room on those nights baby wouldn't sleep so he wouldn't be wrecked the next day. Many times after putting her in the bassinet after a night feed I would constantly pray, “Please God let her sleep; please God let her sleep”. Gradually, I noticed I didn't need to say those desperate midnight prayers anymore as baby became good at falling asleep after a night feed, and now I don’t even remember when the last bad night was.

What has surprised me the most is how quick I am to wake for her in the night. Before having a baby, few things were more important to me than sleep, and I slept like the dead! It’s as if becoming a mum literally gave me the (super)power to respond to my baby at night. I can honestly say that I don’t mind at all waking up for night feeds, in fact, I quite enjoy them. On those few nights when baby has slept through the night, I actually felt a bit sad.

Reading back over this, it sounds a bit grim, as though I want to remember all these hard things to stop me from ever having another baby! But the truth is exactly the opposite. I want to remember because I loved all those experiences.

While I was pregnant, many people would tell me to ‘cherish every minute’. While it’s pretty hard to actually love every single minute, I would say instead I have treasured the newborn experience as a whole package. I know it's a special time, and now that baby is growing out of her newborn clothes, I will remember how much I loved it.

Botany weekend!

Last weekend, Dane was at school camp so baby and I went to stay with my parents. They have a schmick apartment in Botany now that all us kids have left the nest. They treated me to a really fun day out in the city.

We started at Sokyo’s pop-up ramen store at The Star. They had four different kinds of ramen on the menu. We got a pork-cheek version and a spicy pork mince one. The broth was so rich and delicious and filling and yummy.

Spicy pork mince ramen, pork cheek ramen, fried chicken; Sokyo pop-up store at The Star

While we were lunching, a young woman came up to us to say how beautiful my baby is, and how old is she? Now, I don’t mean to brag (yes I do and it’s my blog so I can!) but this happens to me a lot! I know it probably happens to other new mums and also there are just clucky people out there who can’t walk past a baby, but it does feel good to have strangers tell you how cute your baby is. Especially when you know in your heart that your own baby is definitely the cutest. =P

We had an ice cream dessert at Messina and then walked along the pier at Darling Island. I definitely recommend ordering off the specials board at Messina - the combinations they come up with are really exciting. Mum got a rambutan and coconut flavour, with mango puree swirls. I got good ol’ mint choc chip!

Me and baby at Messina

Mum and Dad at Darling Island

After that we headed over to Pitt St to continue the never ending search for dresses one can breastfeed in. Cue have a gorgeous selection of party dresses with a front zip, made in those really lovely fabrics you can tell are quality and not cheapo, but they cost heaps. I might have to save up for it and then just have one ‘Sunday best’ dress for special occasions.

Dinner that night was at It’s Time for Thai on Anzac Parade. This is a really funky, noisy, squashy restaurant with an open kitchen where you can see the chefs going at it hammer and tongs. There was a line out the door when we arrived. We tried a whole fried snapper with green apple and cashew salad - something I’ve never eaten before. I couldn’t believe how tasty and fragrant it was! We also got one prawn and one egg dish and both were superb. It was bit tricky eating there with a baby (definitely no room for a pram!) but if grandparents are around to help take turns holding bub I would absolutely go again.

Poh Poh and baby at It's Time for Thai

The next morning baby and I went with mum and dad to their church, Hillsong on Doody St. They do such a good job of making you feel like you want to be there - from helping you find parking or a seat, to really thoughtful parent rooms. And so much energy at 9.30am on a Sunday!

Baby enjoying the service at Hillsong, Doody St

I also got a lot out of their main message for the day, which was about the Lord’s Prayer. The speaker explained what a great privilege it is to be able to begin the prayer with the words, “Our Father”. Elsewhere the Bible says it’s the Holy Spirit that makes us children of God with all the blessings that entails, and therefore able to call God “our Father”. It was a really interesting perspective on a well-known Bible passage. It helped me remember how blessed I am to have God as a ‘Father’.

It’s been great having the past few months to truly smell the roses, enjoy my baby and focus on treasuring our time together. If things continue to be this lovely, perhaps I’ll share a few bits of it here on the blog.